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W. T. F. ?!?!?

Posted on Wed Jul 31st, 2013 @ 4:34pm by Commodore Joe Rhimer & Lieutenant JG Shya Karn

Mission: Rules of Acquisition
Location: Ready Room

Captain's Ready Room
******************
The counselor had no sooner said goodbye to the new Security Chief then was out the door making a beeline for the CO.
Shya slapped the annunciator then cleared her throat. It wouldn't do for the Bridge crew to see her distressed.

Joe had been pouring over the data gathered on the mission to Ferenginar, trying to quell the serious fluster he'd gotten from his new Chief Sec/Tac. First the pilot, now her. He'd always had knack for attracting women, but it was getting ridiculous now.

He looked up at the chime, "Enter." He said, rubbing his eyes.

Shya casually stepped into the room and headed toward the Captain's desk, keeping an ear on the door. As soon as it sealed she sprinted the rest of the way to his desk and slammed her fist down in the middle of his PaDDs.

"Are you *FUCKING* K I D D I N G Me???" Then, belatedly, she added "Sir."
The counselor stepped back, her tail whapping at the air furiously and her foot drumming a hole in the deckplating.
Before Joe could respond the decidedly feline Catian/Human crossbreed began to pace and mutter to herself in an incoherent stream of words that at one point in time were, perhaps Fed standard, but now were just the ravings of a Madwoman... or a woman driven to the brink of Madness.

"And THEN ... she.. she BOOPS me!! Boops. me.. like that's a thing. Is that a thing? I think it's a a thing...but what KIND of thing? It isn't professional, I can tell you THAT, O YESSIR I can TELL you THAT!"....
All the counselor's words ran together and barely formed sentences. She was obviously distressed and very possibly in need of some strong sedatives.

Joe narrowed his eyes as he watched the feline woman pacing back and forth like... well, a cat, and he leaned a bit too far forward over his desk, reaching out and grasping the far edge. He sighed, long and heavy as she went on, too tired at this point for decorum, "Who?" He slipped in when she was taking a rare moment to breathe.

"She did.. her..she..DASH..your RAINBOW!!!!" Shya rounded on Joe, eyes narrowed and planted her fists on her hips.

"She DEMANDED I give her MY DEPARTMENT!!! She tried to guilt me out of my department!"

The counselor's tail lashed out furiously once more and smacked into Joe's steaming mug of coffee, completely smashing it and drowning the CO's desktop in Java juice.

Shya was too intent in her ravings to notice the havoc she just created or the fact that she just severed roughly 2 inches of her tail and it was flopping like a dying fish on the CO's desk.

Joe didn't even move, after having narrowly avoided the tail swipe, he just leaned back in his chair and kept repeating "Shya... Shya... SHYA!" until he had her attention.

"Your tail," He said, calmly pointing to the flopping tip on his desk.

She looked up at him. "That's not my tail." Shya looked up at him, then swung her tail around only to see a bloody mangled end.

It quite took the counselor by surprise. All color drained from her face and the counselor found it very difficult to swallow.

Then suddenly the room began to sway and the Captain's Ready Room faded away rather suddenly and was replaced with blackness.

Joe watched her fall and hit the ground, then sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose again, burying his face in his hand after a moment. He'd almost shaken that headache, too.

"Transporter room, site to site transport. Counselor Karn to sickbay. The end of her tail is on my desk." He said, after tapping his comm badge.

"Uhm... The... the end of... I'm sorry, sir, what?" Came the confused reply.

"Please just... don't make me repeat that."

"Aye, sir."

And with that, his counselor (and the tip of her tail) were gone from his office.

Joe sat at his desk for a long moment, then sighed, shaking his head. He really needed to look at his personnel file and uncheck the "assign to batshit ships" box.

 

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